12.17.2012

WARNING: Only 3 Shopping Days Left 'Til Doomsday


Will the four horsemen be riding in on Dec. 21st?

Nothing sells better than FEAR, even sex comes in a distant second. Charlatans have known for centuries that the easiest way to separate the gullible, fearful humans from their hard earned material resources is by convincing the fearful that there is a route available to avoid the outcomes they fear and that they, the snake oil salesmen, are in possession of the road map.

Fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of horrible, uncontrollable circumstances, the apocalypse - primarily the domain of religious fundamentialists throughout history- has 'em all, how could any self-respecting fraudster ask for more. The folks in the US and Canada don't have a monopoly on gullibility or snake oil salespersons, the Apocalypse 2012 bullshit is worldwide. A quick Google search turns up thousands of sites selling gear to the apocalyptically fearful. A few like the Zombie Apocalypse Store are somewhat tongue in cheek and have a broader survivalist clientele. Others like those here and here, are serious about doomsday coming to a planet near you on December 21st 2012.

The ancient Mayans never thought the world would end in 2012, new research shows, neither do contemporary Mayans, though they have no problem fleecing the fearful who do. They take the affluent tourists on tours, speak at their retreats, whatever it takes to separate the gullible from their money. The present day Mayans of Mexico and Guatamala have seen that apocalyptic thinking is a way people cope with their fears, somehow the belief in widespread destruction and death makes individual fears seem less terrible. So... might as well give 'em what they came for eh.

The apocalyptically fearful had better hurry though 'cause there's only 3 shopping days left to fill their backyard bunkers with food, water and firepower. Personally, my best friend and i plan to celebrate the December 21st 2012 solstice with a few beers and a joint down at the beach like we did last year.